Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I bet he comes in French.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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