beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
