Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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