I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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