if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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