I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
