Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
