are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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