if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
