I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
