Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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