I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
