You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
