quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
