I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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