May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
