It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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