So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
