sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
