Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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