I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
where are my eyebrows?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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