she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
The best walk of shames are on the highway
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
