All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
