I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
