i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
