Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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