You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
