May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
