i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
