These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize