Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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