Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
