god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
