People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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