Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I am naked and annoyed.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
