You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
