i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
