he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
