If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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