I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
