Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
