Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
