I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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