I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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