drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
