SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
