I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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