Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
