did you get engaged???
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
