omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
