Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
