I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize