new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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