So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
