I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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