A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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