Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.