you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
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I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
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He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.