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dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
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