There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
