She said her name was "party"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
