She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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