I got chris browned last night
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
