he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize