The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The Olympian is in my bed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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