I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
