It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.