do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.