I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize