Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake