I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.