Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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